Marriage started out in most cultures as a form of economic exchange. Most couples were married not because of love but because of economic liaison. The exchanging of assets such as Buffalo or jewelleries in order to “buy” over a bride from another family was known then as a tradition. This was the economics of early and primitive marriages. Few had any courtship or dating.
In 866 Pope Nicholas I, declared: “If the consent be lacking in a marriage, all other celebrations, even should the union be consummated, are rendered void.” It has remained as an important part of the church teaching through the years.
In 1500 there were many marriages that took place without any witness or ceremonies. This has disturbed The Council of Trent, for they decreed in 1563 that marriages should be celebrated in the presence of a priest and at least two witness. This marriage took on a whole new role of saving male and female from being sinful, and of procreation.
Back to the present of French marriage, only civil marriages are recognised. The ceremony must be performed by a French Civil Authority, deriving of the mayor and the deputy mayor or a city councillor. Religious ceremony are optional, have no legal status and may be held after the civil ceremony has taken place.
In Asia however, traditional marriages still holds. In Indie or other countries with a Hindu culture, it is considered bad luck for the bride and the groom to see each other for a few days before the marriage. As part of the engagement ceremony, the bride’s parents wash the couples’ feet with milk and water as a symbol of purifying them for the new journey together that awaits them. The couple holds in their hands grains of rice, oats and green leaves signifying wealth, good health and happiness.
Yet, the cornerstone of marriages that is often neglected is that of commitment. Most teenagers today think marriages of ambitious people are a form of “just a status” because celebrities or wealthy people alike are too busy and spoilt to comply to the responsibilities of a sage individual. How wrong can they be?
In NewYear’s day of 1994, Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft married Melinder French, a Microsoft manager, on the Hawaiian Island of Lanai. Gates kept it private by buying out all the unused rooms at the local hotel and by hiring all of the helicopters in the area to obstruct paparazzi in helicopters from using them. At that time of his marriage, his asset was at an estimated cost of close to 7 billion dollars.
Aside from being the most famous of businessmen, Gates has also distinguished himself as a philanthropist. Gates and his wife, established a charity foundation which focuses on helping to improve healthcare and bringing education to children all over the world. One of which benefits even the smartest of students is his donation to Massachusetts Institutes of Technology to build a new home for its Laboratory for Computer Science. In July 2000, the foundation granted the prospect as donations needed to study, whether or not inexpensive vitamins and mineral pills that may help save lives in developing countries.
As we observe divorce rates on the rise globally, it is imperative for us to take a step back and examine the cause of this worrying trend. The simple truth to happy marriages are based on deep friendship. By this I mean mutual respect for each other’s company. Understanding intimate knowledge of each other’s quirks, likes and dislikes are contributing factors as well. Frequent fighting are not necessary a bad sign in marriages, not till it becomes physical. Amicable partners are less combative than spouses who hardly know each other. Spouses lack in respect and little connection with one another engages in negative sentiment overwrites.
When you are in a negative sentiment overwrite with your partner, their act of annoying you or troubling you, may not be felt as merely an act of “seeking attention” or “playing with you” but an act of nasty and bothersome irritation that angers you.
Marriage is essentially important in building families and thus it is of utmost significance to tackle the problem that leads to divorce. The revolution of marriage has made it to become a solemn ceremony that is always held in high regard. As the saying goes, action speaks louder than words. Martial vows are merely words that express love; being in a marriage and living those vows are what that truly matters.